A graduate. A bridesmaid. What's next?

Graduation... then off to one of my best friend's wedding. Lord help me. When did I grow up?? I've been on a teeter totter of emotion with this whole "grown up" thing. And please... I know I know.. I'll still be in college and mom and dad will still treat me like a five year old princess sometimes but still... I'm going to live on my own. To me that's enough to be overwhelming, sorry.

(TOTAL SIDE NOTE:)  The Grubb/ Waldron wedding was gorgeous and so much fun to be apart of. I'll always be praying for my lovely friend and her new husband. Libby did such a good job planning her wedding, practically by herself, and I know she is going to make a wonderful wife.

K back to what I was talking about....


I go through times of excitement, in anticipation to embark into life. Then I go into shock, realizing that the weddings will keep happening, and even mine someday relatively soon.... (3-5 years don't get too stressed out here). I become giddy with the idea of living in Seattle and experiencing "city life", and then I go numb because I won't wake up each morning to my family and dog. Then I get joyful because I know God is going to open some unique and awesome doors for me, and I'll have wonderful opportunities to serve and learn more about life. Then I become like Moses, asking God to maybe send someone else because I slip on my words sometimes, because I make mistakes, and because I'm afraid.

Exodus 4:10-13 (New International Version)

 ¹⁰ Moses said to the LORD, "O Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue."
 ¹¹ The LORD said to him, "Who gave man his mouth? Who makes him deaf or mute? Who gives him sight or makes him blind? Is it not I, the LORD ? ¹² Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say."
 ¹³ But Moses said, "O Lord, please send someone else to do it."

But how can I be afraid. Look at all the people that God uses, yes in the Bible, but even today. We're all broken sinners, stumbling along. When we let God use us as his instrument in life, that's when his glory shows and we are able to live in joy. 


All of this makes me go back to 1 Peter 5:7, which I really should get tattooed on my forehead because it's such a lifesaver.

1 Peter 5:7 (New International Version)

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.


It's hard to know this verse. I'm not talking about memorizing it, or understanding it. It's just hard to write it on your heart. I have worries everyday and more often than not I have a hard time placing them in the hand that is stretched out towards me, saying "Chels, everything is going to be fine, just trust me". It's hard to let yourself believe in this verse, but it's just getting over the fact that you can't do a better job than God, and submitting to the fact that he is the one in control. It's a lovely thing, and on the rare occasions that I do "let go and let god",  I've experienced the rewarding relief that it provides.

 As for what I'm reading, because if you haven't figured it out, that has a huge impact on my life, I finished Priceless, which I talked a little bit about in my last blog. Right after that I picked up Red Letters: Living a Faith that Bleeds by the same author.. it wasn't a fiction book, but it was goooooood. For me personally, the AIDS crisis in Africa was no different than obesity in America, just another problem that is characteristic to each country and there's nothing we can really do. Ignorant I know. After reading Scared, and Red Letters my eyes have been open. AIDS is leaving a generation of children in an environment where love has never been present. AIDS is an injustice that is stealing away a country and the family dynamic. There's no way I can bring light to this situation for you, because it's honestly still to big and overwhelming for me to chew, but it's not something we can just push aside. It's so real, and the thing is.. there is a solution. We haven't found the cure to AIDS yet, but I as well as others believe that education will be the real cure.

http://www.avert.org/hiv-aids-africa.htm

"A number of African countries have conducted large-scale HIV prevention initiatives in an effort to reduce the scale of their epidemics. Senegal, for example, responded early to the emergence of HIV with strong political and community leadership.⁵  It is impossible to predict how Senegal's epidemic would have progressed without intervention, but Senegal now has one of the lowest HIV prevalence rates in sub-Saharan Africa.
The situation in Uganda is similarly successful. HIV prevalence among pregnant women in Uganda fell from a high of around 30% in the early 1990s to around 10% in 2001;⁶ a change which is thought to be largely a result of intensive HIV prevention campaigns. Declines in HIV prevalence have also been seen in Kenya, Zimbabwe and urban areas of Zambia and Burkina Faso.
However, not all African countries have had such successful HIV prevention campaigns. In South Africa, the government's failure to respond to the AIDS crisis has lead to an unprecedented number of people living with HIV. An estimated 70,000 babies are born with HIV every year, reflecting significant failures in prevention of mother-to-child transmission initiatives."


I know the situation is overwhelming, but that's the worst excuse to not help. I can only recommend that you do some research, and honestly read Scared. Let the story touch your heart, and reach out to make a small change, because even the smallest hope can cause a huge ripple.

Blessings,

Chelsea

White River Rafting. Story of my lifffeeeeeeeeeeee.

Graduation... you weren't lying when you told me "time flies chels, hold onto your childhood while you can". But you just can't teach a kid that.. They have to learn themselves... the hard way. So here I am. Two time graduate. Once from high school, once from community college. I have 3 months in front of me to earn as much money as I can for school and to have as much fun as I can with friends... some of which I may never see again. I know this is supposed to be a time of excitement. But I'm still in pre-shock mode. It hasn't hit home. Truth is.... I don't quite want it too.


For everyone who came to my party. Thank you :) That day was wonderful. Also, I promise I'm working on those thank you cards :)

To get off the cliche topic of graduation let's move on to something I'd much rather talk about :) Books. Oh and music.

I just got done reading Scared by Tom Davis. I had been taking a break from fiction, because sometimes I can't stand it. I feel like I'm living through book characters, and not taking the time to make my life book-worthy. This book was different. Something inside of me told me to pick this one off the shelf, and just standing there I read 30 pages. Next thing you know I'm passing 70 and onto 150. I tell people I read to experience things that I couldn't experience everyday otherwise. This book took me to Africa with an agnostic who was a deadbeat, ready to take pictures of anything that would make him money to hopefully salvage his marriage... and well his life. Through the book you are taken on a riveting path that fully exposes (in the best manner a book can) the truth of AIDS and orphans in Africa. Trust me... when people say there's a book about Africa/Aids/Orphans AND it's fiction.... I usually run away. This  one had me hooked. I can't really explain the story other that painful truth... and then I found out that it was based off a true story. Tricky fiction. Check it out. :) I'm reading the second Priceless and so far I'm equally impressed.

Oh Oh oh oh... back to my title. I went white river rafting :)
Super fun. I can't wait to do it again. I only almost fell out once.. but that was enough for me. It was freezing outside. Overcast and windy. Nonetheless it was amazing to experience the place we have with the river. We are above it... but God is still the master of it.. the orchestrator. I can't explain the feelings of calm and terror I had... but mostly trust. I just imagine God's breath moving the river along. Beautiful.