I am trying to understand, how to walk this weary land...

"Make straight the paths that crooked lie
Oh Lord, before these feet of mine" - from the song posted below


"Your Hands." - JJ Heller
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w4gAoozKrMg


I feel like a child hiding in the closet with a cookie half way down my throat. The thing is, the cookie isn't even good. It's one of those Safeway cookies that is mushy and tastes like it was made with Splenda. However, I finished the cookie because I already feel bad about sneaking off with it, so why not? Well now, I'm going to throw up.

If you didn't notice. I didn't start my rule of life. The first week of my summer was well, miserable. Waking up at 5:45 M-F nearly killed me. So much for sticking to the rhythm of my life. I worked close to 45 hours last week, and felt like all I did was eat, sleep, and work.. and work some more. I collapsed into the weekend, thinking I would have time to draw together and plan, but I ended up being a taxi cab for my siblings, and staying up late watching movies with the boyfriend.

Like I said, crappy cookie.

And here I am... the next Tuesday after I was supposed to start, feeling spiritually dry and hung over on smoothies.

Today, however, I was blessed to be able to come home from work WAY early. I ate a wonderful dinner with Mere, and headed down to the lake with my Bible and the new book David got me, "Mudhouse Sabbath" by Lauren Winner.

So better late than never, ya?

I've successfully shifted my schedule so I now only have to wake up at 5:45 on Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday. So Monday and Wednesday, Saturday and Sunday I have a long morning (minus tomorrow, because I got hired to help with an estate sale). My schedule is going to continue to change, but what's new?

So here's the plan.

Monday, Wednesday, Saturday, and Sunday I'm going to wake up and spend 15 minutes with God. Now this isn't a limit, this is a minimum. That's like my "if it's dark, pouring down rain, and late speed limit adjustment". It's not ideal, but it's enough to make sure something happens at LEAST. I'm On Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday night I'm going to strive to also spend 15 minutes with God, at least. Of course there will also be my sporadic coffee dates with God, and midnight milk check ins, but I want poles to hang up the clothes line of my spirituality (I've never used a clothesline in my life, I don't even think they use poles).

Also. Once a week I want to spend one hour in silence. No talking, no phone, no laptop, no music, nothing to distract me. Scary. But I really need to work on reflecting, remembering, and listening.


Here comes the tricky part. I want to observe Sabbath.
I don't really know what this entails. But here are some quotes that I've found to be inspiring.

"What happens when we stop working and controlling nature? When we don't operate machines, or pick flowers, or pluck fish from the sea?... When we cease interfering in the world we are acknowledging that it's God's world" ( Winner qtd. Moishe Konigsberg 7).

Sabbath "was an add on to a busy week, not the fundamental unit around which I organized my life. The Hebrew word for holy means, literally, "set apart." In failing to live a Sabbath truly distinct from weekly time, I had violated the most basic command: to keep the Sabbath holy." (Winner 9).

"The Bible suggests something different. In observing the Sabbath, one is both giving a gift to God and imitating Him" (Winner 11).

I'll keep you posted, but this is where I am at. Prayers greatly appreciated.

Blessings,

Chelsea

"I am so unworthy, and still He loves me"

15 weeks.

So here I am, sitting on the floor of my room with a banana dipped in fudge celebrating the fact that I am done with my third year of college. I don't know what my life holds after SPU, but this summer is going to to be interesting. It's my first summer not with my family, my first summer on my own. My best friend, Meredith, is living with me and I'll be working two jobs (40-50 hours a week). I am committed to a houseboat trip at the beginning of August with my family, and a trip to Southern California to visit my boyfriend's school and SeaWorld hopefully, that will end with a roadtrip back to Seattle with my lovely friend Emily.

I was telling Meredith last night while I was doing dishes, that sometimes it hits me that my family is 200 miles away eating dinner without me every night. They are going on in their normal routine, of which I used to be a part of. Now I'm more than, but just about a tuition check a month, a visit every once and a while, a phone call for a recipe, and a housesitter. I'm not being negative, I still totally feel a part of the family, love and cherished. I'm just a different dynamic of the family now.

Anyhow, this summer I want to try to establish a "rule of life".

"A rule of life is not about observing a set of rules in order to make ourselves good and acceptable before God- that would be legalism. Rather, it is about living under a certain pattern of discipline in order to achieve ascetic proficiency." (Chan 190)

The idea is that everyone has a rule of life. It includes anything that makes up your general routine. Unfortunately most people have developed poorly prioritized rules, and I know that I am among them. My rule of life has more facebook than prayer, more food than fast, more work than rest, and more laziness than service.


A "rule of life maintains the basic orientation of our lives as Christians. As Christians, we need to fit secular work into our rule rather than the other way around... Our work comes first, and then we try to work a small religious component into a basically secular existence" (Chan 190).


"A rule of life does not mean that a great part of our time is taken up with performing religious duties. Rather, the rhythm that a good rule establishes helps us maintain our spiritual focus" (Chan 191).

Luckily this author expects us to mess up. I have three months. I'm excited to track my progress, but I'm sure it will be more of a battle than anything.

"Rules can make us or breaks us. They break us if we pursue them as ends in themselves, and they make us if we see them as a means to an end." (191)

I only hope that I can humbly approach this, and move closer towards the heart of God in this expedition.

"One indication of reaching proficiency is observing the rule without thinking too much about it. It becomes second nature. It fits like a pair of comfortable shoes."

We shall see!



Suggestions given for establishing a rule:
Daily Devotion
Cultivating Spiritual Friendship
Participation in the life and worship of the church
Social Inovlement
Prayer

Suggestions for suggested practices:
Follow your bodies rhythm. Don't try to make yourself into a morning person if you aren't.
Be realistic.
Devise a plan that fits with your normal routine
Be flexible in the beginning, persevere once you find your rhythm
Simplicity


"A rule should be such that it is invariably kept without strain but occasionally make a definite demand on the will. It would should normally be kept with no fault occasionally, a few faults frequently, and if it all goes to pieces very rarely there is little worry about." (Thornton)

For my rule of life I know I want to push for more prayer. I always feel so refreshed after I pray, but for some reason prayer is like Ritz crackers for me. They don't ever sound good, but once I have a bite I eat the whole box.

I also want to incorporate daily reading into my life. I think too much. I need God's Word in my head, and I need the community of other believers via their writing to accompany in my spiritual journey.

I really want to join a community group, and start serving as well.

I also really want to exercise and eat well.........

So now that most of this is NOT in my regular routine, I suppose I have some prayerful consideration to undergo. I plan to start next Monday, giving me 15 weeks of summer to do this.

Your prayer and encouragement is welcome (:

Blessings,

Chelsea