"Make straight the paths that crooked lie
Oh Lord, before these feet of mine" - from the song posted below
"Your Hands." - JJ Heller
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w4gAoozKrMg
I feel like a child hiding in the closet with a cookie half way down my throat. The thing is, the cookie isn't even good. It's one of those Safeway cookies that is mushy and tastes like it was made with Splenda. However, I finished the cookie because I already feel bad about sneaking off with it, so why not? Well now, I'm going to throw up.
If you didn't notice. I didn't start my rule of life. The first week of my summer was well, miserable. Waking up at 5:45 M-F nearly killed me. So much for sticking to the rhythm of my life. I worked close to 45 hours last week, and felt like all I did was eat, sleep, and work.. and work some more. I collapsed into the weekend, thinking I would have time to draw together and plan, but I ended up being a taxi cab for my siblings, and staying up late watching movies with the boyfriend.
Like I said, crappy cookie.
And here I am... the next Tuesday after I was supposed to start, feeling spiritually dry and hung over on smoothies.
Today, however, I was blessed to be able to come home from work WAY early. I ate a wonderful dinner with Mere, and headed down to the lake with my Bible and the new book David got me, "Mudhouse Sabbath" by Lauren Winner.
So better late than never, ya?
I've successfully shifted my schedule so I now only have to wake up at 5:45 on Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday. So Monday and Wednesday, Saturday and Sunday I have a long morning (minus tomorrow, because I got hired to help with an estate sale). My schedule is going to continue to change, but what's new?
So here's the plan.
Monday, Wednesday, Saturday, and Sunday I'm going to wake up and spend 15 minutes with God. Now this isn't a limit, this is a minimum. That's like my "if it's dark, pouring down rain, and late speed limit adjustment". It's not ideal, but it's enough to make sure something happens at LEAST. I'm On Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday night I'm going to strive to also spend 15 minutes with God, at least. Of course there will also be my sporadic coffee dates with God, and midnight milk check ins, but I want poles to hang up the clothes line of my spirituality (I've never used a clothesline in my life, I don't even think they use poles).
Also. Once a week I want to spend one hour in silence. No talking, no phone, no laptop, no music, nothing to distract me. Scary. But I really need to work on reflecting, remembering, and listening.
Here comes the tricky part. I want to observe Sabbath.
I don't really know what this entails. But here are some quotes that I've found to be inspiring.
"What happens when we stop working and controlling nature? When we don't operate machines, or pick flowers, or pluck fish from the sea?... When we cease interfering in the world we are acknowledging that it's God's world" ( Winner qtd. Moishe Konigsberg 7).
Sabbath "was an add on to a busy week, not the fundamental unit around which I organized my life. The Hebrew word for holy means, literally, "set apart." In failing to live a Sabbath truly distinct from weekly time, I had violated the most basic command: to keep the Sabbath holy." (Winner 9).
"The Bible suggests something different. In observing the Sabbath, one is both giving a gift to God and imitating Him" (Winner 11).
I'll keep you posted, but this is where I am at. Prayers greatly appreciated.
Blessings,
Chelsea
"I am so unworthy, and still He loves me"
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